Follow your Dreams

I haven't been recording my dreams lately, and because of that haven't
remembered them as well. You might think it is the other way around, but
you'd be mistaken. Or rather, you'd be right too. I think too often we
let our logic follow the concept of "cause and effect", in a classical
Newtonian sense. Yes things are tied, and effect each other, but it
isn't always a dog on a chain, with one leading the other. More like
escaped convicts, who find themselves handcuffed together and on the
lamb.

Anyway, I haven't recorded them, and I haven't remembered them, and
that's too bad. They are for me an almost infinite source of interest. I
know I'm still having them, because I remember they were still there,
fading into the sunrise as I woke.

Anyway, I'll try to be better about that, though I suppose in the end it
will be of little consequence what my subconscious mind conjures.

I don't want to move Christmas trees for a living. For once I'm glad the
Christmas season is only a month or so.

But for that matter, I don't really want to go to school anymore. There
are a thousand things I'd like to do with my time, with my life, but you
only get so much, and there are some requisites you have to take care of
first. Like taxes.

You have to get a degree, 'cause that will help you get a better job,
'cause you have to earn money, 'cause you have to get food to eat, and
something to cover your head with, like a house. I don't like that there
are so many things I have have to do, but there aren't any two ways
around it.

Things like writing, reading, painting, acting, filming, sculpting,
creativity in general, appreciating others' creativity, even excercise,
they come later.

But that all can't be later, because really, once I'm done with all the
have to's, I'm dead. The have to's prolong life and imrove life, else
it were all solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short. As long as I'm
living, I'll have the have to's. And I'll be wishing I could spend more
time on other things, things I like (see previous paragraph).

So it'll have to be all together. I've thought before that I'd do all
those things when I took care of the have to's, when I was independently
wealthy I'd have more time. But as long as I'm breathing, I'll have to
pay the have to's their dues to let me keep on breathing, and I'll have
the dreams that let me want to keep breathing.