Random thoughts on most things from A. M. Craig.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Diagnosis, Please.

There is something wrong in my head. Nobody dreams about zombies this much. It's unhealthy, right? I mean, this has to be some kind of undiagnosed psychosis. And I really shouldn't be recording this in a syndicated forum that everybody who has any remote connection to me on the web can find and read. Somebody out there is going to know enough about dream psychology to figure out what this means, and then will I feel sheepish. They'll know more about my deep fears and anxieties than I do, and that can be a frightening prospect, exposed by your own ignorance, and what your own utterances and thoughts really mean.

If you figure it out, please let me know.

Regardless, I've started down this absurd path of recording my dreams, and I see no reason to stop here and now on this particular.

The dream last night played out like this.

I was a member of some kind of institution, like a prison system or the military, with very strict regulations, and I didn't get to see my family often. But it was a special occasion, and I was with my family. They were watching me in a diving competition, only it wasn't normal diving. I was diving from extremely high up, and instead of going straight down in freefall, the dive was more of a slide down an almost vertical decline, a tiled wall that was wet. I would dive down this smooth wall and slide down to a shallow pool at the bottom, much too shallow to actually be safe.

Regardless, we were at this competition, and went outside. There was a strange tremor underfoot, but not a conventional earthquake, mind you. It was like gravity was shifting, and we were all tossed about. Then the sun started to do strange things. It darkened, and shrank a little, then exploded. Chaos ensued, nobody knew what to do. I told my family that we had eight minutes before...well...I don't know. What happens when the sun explodes? The light in the sky was like twilight, everywhere now, and without a certain source. We scrambled inside for shelter from the oncoming fallout. Not that it would really help.

Thats when the zombies came. I have to assume it was some reaction to the sun, that this unheard of astronomical event had somehow spawned the reanimation of the recently deceased. I figured I knew a place to hide. I was the only one in my family who knew the building, we were at my institution, my territory. I tried to get them to this safe place, but there were just too many zombies. Everywhere we went in this building, there were the undead, staggering about, and slowly following wherever the living went. We tried to go upstairs, in various rooms, and even up a ladder to the roof (like that would be any protection from supernova fallout). It was futile, and bad enough to where I was fighting off the encroaching horde with my own two hands. I didn't even have a weapon.

That's the closest I've ever been in these stupid zombie dreams to being caught. Then I woke.

Well, there you have it. I have mental problems. If you have any helpful interpretation, or advise, or thoughts, let me know. It was kind of funny at first, but I'm really beginning to think there is something extremely odd about recurring zombie dreams.

UPDATE: I should mention a couple things I saw just before bed: this picture (which should explain the sun explosion), and this preview. I don't have any intention of seeing the movie, but George Romero did some interesting things by showing large portions of the film from a diegetic perspective. I wanted to get a glimpse of that.

7 comments:

Jasie said...

hmmm... analyzing your crazy zombie dreams is actually a really interesting prospect. The first thing I would think to tell you is that it is a simple manifestation of anxiety, but it might be fun to grab a copy of Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams and go to town with explaining your neurosis or psychosis or whatever it may be...

Austin said...

Please, Jasie, if you'd like to stop by the library and pick one up, I'd be ever grateful. There is nothing random about this, but I certainly don't know the reasons.

Mary said...

Austin, copy and paste this link and then scroll down a little. Apparently there are different kinds of Zombie dreams and they should be interpreted accordingly.

http://www.geocities.com/hairybobby2000/dreamessayzombie.html

I could venture a guess for your Zombie dreaming but you may feel better if you diagnosing yourself. On the bright side, at least you have dreams my friend.

Austin said...

Wow, THANKS, Mary.

Mary said...

Anytime.

Jasie said...

Ok, here I go:

I think the first part is pretty straight forward.
The fact that in your dream you're institutionalized refers to both school and work. You don't feel as if your time is your own. You're competing, which is probably stressful for you in real life. Perhaps you're competing at work and school. The dive which turns into a vertical slide into a shallow pool is the lack of control you have over your time, and the uncertainty you feel over your future. You don't get to see your family often and when you do, they're witnessing you lose control over your life.

The earthquake goes along with this lack of control you're feeling. I think the sun may have to do with the picture you looked at before bed, but it's obviously apocalyptic, and that again leads to the sense that changes are occurring in your life which you are unable to control completely. But the fact that you try to lead your family away from danger shows that you still feel as if you have some grasp on what's happening in your life. You use the knowledge of your institution to help them, which shows that you still have faith that structure is what is going to keep everything safe and under control.
However, the institution which you put so much faith in is crawling with zombies from the inside . So there are doubts about how well you can trust this institution and the structure it provides your life. But you cling to that structure by moving around, using the stairs, going into rooms.
Eventually, the institution fails you and you are left with only your own abilities to rescue yourself and your family. The fact that you lack a weapon shows how you feel as if you aren't getting the help that you need.

It seems like insecurities are coming up in these dreams and that you need to restore faith first in yourself, independent of the institutions to which you subscribe. Then you need to have more faith in those institutions which are there to help you (church, work, school) but which also might be causing your anxieties to begin with.

And stop watching previews to zombie movies. jeez.

Ok, that's Dr. Jasie's take on your dream. Obviously I have more time on my hands than you do....

Austin said...

Goodness. Thorough, Jasie. I'll take those things into consideration. Thanks.