New Rave

I can't stop listening to some music Dave Smith knew I'd love.

D.A.N.C.E by Justice is perfectly addictive (though the video is a bit....shall we say...risque). They dedicated the song to one of their favorite artists, Michael Jackson, presumably while he was still black.

Also, Crystal Castles really makes me feel like I'm dreaming, like I fell asleep watching "The NeverEnding Story" or playing Atari.
My favorites: Magic Spells and Air War.

Review(s): In Theaters Everywhere

I see a lot of movies. Probably too many. Here are a few I've seen lately.

Transformers: See previous entry.

Take: Ultimately, though it had a redemptive message, and was very well made, it was too little, too late, to bring you back from the cold, dark place that film put you in.

Live Free or Die Hard: Quit possibly the BEST action flick of all time.

That's just in the last week. I've also seen...

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End: Potentially the most WORTHLESS movie of all time. Okay, I exaggerate, but an enormous production value can't make up for awful story telling. They are just desperately trying to tie up all the loose ends from the second one (also worthless).

Paris, Je T’Aime: Not mainstream, and that's because it's daring enough to break the conventional mold of what a movie should be. And you know what? It pulls it off superbly. Excellent movie.

Spiderman III: Over the top, even more than the first couple. The romance angle of the story was overplayed, I just didn't care after a while. And Peter Parker, when he bonds with the symbiote and becomes "Bad Spiderman", he mostly just becomes an emo kid. It's funny, but then it just keeps happening, and a joke overplayed is a joke nobody wants to hear anymore.

Ocean's Thirteen: It was great. Read an article where they said it was the movie they should have made last time (instead of Ocean's Twelve). I really liked Ocean's Twelve, but hey, it wasn't my movie. Thirteen takes a different angle on a couple things, in that in the first one, you don't really know how they pulled off the heist till after the thing is done, putting the viewer in the seat of an outsider, i.e. not part of the gang. You're just an admirer in fairly close proximity. Twelve was even more that way, but it was less noticeable because they were just having so much fun, that whole crew messing around in Europe. Thirteen, however, let's you in on the secret. It plays out pretty much like you're expecting. Not a lot of curve-balls. But people go see these movies for their unparalleled style, and this one isn't lacking one bit in that department.
P.S. My roommates and I dressed up for the premier.



Movies I still want to see this summer:
Rescue Dawn: Werner Herzog is nuts, and always delivers something interesting. This is a dramatization of a story he's already covered.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Always fun movies, and I've read the books up to this one.
The Simpsons Movie: This had better be funny.
The Flying Scotsman: Not going to be anything groundbreaking, but it looks good.
Ratatouille: I always love Pixar movies, they're everything a family film should be.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer: I don't even expect this to be good, but I'll probably see it anyway. Don't ask why.
Eagle vs. Shark: Stars one of the guys from Flight of the Conchords, an HYSTERICAL duo out of New Zealand.
1408: Some sick part of me wants to see this psychological thriller. I'm sure it's terrifying, and I don't know why I want to see it.
Bourne Ultimatum: I don't even really want to see this, I didn't like the first two. I know this is exactly what they are going for, but I feel like they are too gritty, they are too realistic. I can't root for an assassin, especially if he is believable. Even a reluctant one. But all my friends will see it, and I'll probably come along.
Stardust: Don't know anything about it, but it looks like fun.
Hot Rod: Andy Samberg is an HYSTERICAL man.
Hot Fuzz: I do and don't want to see this. Shawn of the Dead (cleanflicked) was one of the funniest and best written movies I've ever seen. However, this one is supposed to be even gorier than the zombie movie. Wow. I can't make any guarantees here, people.

Transformers: A Review

Went and saw Transformers last night. Here is what I thought.

I was excited to see the movie, I'd heard nothing but positive reviews from everybody I'd talked to. It was a thing of nostalgia from my youth, so I figured this should be fun.

It started off well enough. The characters were introduced well, the main character especially so. Our protagonist is an average teenager, ogling the school beauty, dreaming of his first car, trying to manage his life under the constraints of his parents. So far, we're pretty grounded in reality. That is, before the introduction of the Giant Space Alien Robots.

From that point on, the fundamental premise of the story is so far out, I think Michael Bay just abandoned any real attempt to suspend your disbelief. In every regard.

There is a scene where the heroine, Mikaela Banes (played by Megan Fox {fitting name}) asks the main character if he thinks she is shallow. He says no. I say shallow doesn't really describe it. More like two-dimensional (which is okay, because if he is that in to her, then he must be too). I say this because she is just as difficult to believe as the Giant Space Alien Robots. There are as many shots of her perfect stomach as her inexpressive face, and she is supposed to be this bad girl with a perfect knowledge of mechanical inner workings of high end hot rods. Nobody like this exists in reality. There is no human female like that on earth. So far as performance is concerned, they could have gotten a blow up doll to fill the role nicely. But it wouldn't have had the perfect stomach.

In addition to the male teenage dream played out on screen, the racial stereotypes are pretty glaring. There is a black kid in it whose only purpose I can see is to pull in the (now defunct) UPN crowd. He doesn't really do anything special in the movie other than act as the minstrelshow's main attraction. There is even an Autobot named "Jazz" who is clearly the Black Transformer. That must have been a popular motif of 80's cartoons.

I couldn't get over how perfectly choreographed this movie was made to make money. It was a product placement dream. Some of the primary characters in the film are automobiles, for crying out loud. Everything was branded. The characters were, all of them, caricatures. The awkward backward hero as the proxy of every awkward backward kid lacking in heroism, the unbelievably alluring female thing, the red-blooded soldier unafraid of anything, the Secretary of State in his unquestioned authority, the secret government agency, and, of course, the Giant Space Alien Robots, come to conquer/defend the world (depending on which one we're talking about). None of the characters you really care about die (people don't like dying).

It's my understanding that Michael Bay recycled footage for the movie. He even used some of the same camera tricks as he did in Bad Boys.

The whole thing was absurdly over the top, with non-stop action, the world ultimately saved, the guy getting the girl, and we are left with the likelihood of a sequel.

Now, with all the criticism in mind, I have to admit something. It was fun. I enjoyed it. True, sometimes I was enjoying how ludicrous it was, but i enjoyed it all the same.

So don't expect storytelling magic. This isn't an M. Night Shyamalan flick with some deeper meaning (despite the vague attempt to make Optimus Prime a Messianic figure) or any twist ending. It all plays out exactly as you might expect. So even though you know exactly where you're going, sit back and enjoy the ride.

P.S. What do modern auteur's think of somebody like Michael Bay, whose every film follows the proven formula for financial success as to make him more a businessman than a director? Is he the Thomas Kinkaid of the popular film world?

AN-GRYYYY.

Long story short, I took Meredith's advice and decided to join the blogging ranks, and wrote an epic, heavily linked, well thought out blog entry. It took me several hours. But at some point during this, a roommate of mine used my computer to sign into his gmail, thusly signing me out of mine. He did this with my stupid permission. So, oblivious to the course of action that I'd set into play, I continued to blog on a window that was still open but not logged in. And after the hours were through, and I hit the "publish button, it disappeared forever.
How did I feel?
A lot, lot angrier than I have been in a long time.

Teaspoon Slide Guitar Master

That is all.

The Shins

This is a band called The Shins.
I like this one.

Some items that live up to this blog's subtitle.

In no particular order:

I like LCD Soundsystem. P.S. The destination at the end of that link, that is what Myspace should have been.

listening to the radio the other day, I realized that, given the option, I think I would listen to Cindy Lauper over Metallica a thousand to one.

I stumbled on the set of an Indie movie the other day. It was really cool, I walked into Pier 49 Pizza to get some lunch, and there were a bunch of people shooting a movie. They stopped and let me order a pizza. It is a comedy about a washed up rock band that decide to drive to the middle of the desert and sell their souls to the devil so they can become the greatest band ever.

It's called Route 61.







I am going to make movies some day. Actually, I'll be helping on the set of our ISM feature this summer, the first two weeks in August. But beside that, I have a thousand ideas for stories that I want to write, it's just a matter of making the time. I keep them all in a red binder at home, along with almost any idea or thought I think is too valuable to let dissipate into the ether.

I did something the other morning that I haven't done in years. I fell out of bed. That becomes a little something more to think about when you find out my bed is 5 feet off the ground on cinder blocks.

They asked me to sub in today as the Daily News anchor. I normally do Fridays, and have been for a few weeks now, but yesterday they called and asked if I could come in and cover for somebody, so I did, and they asked me to come in again today. I wish I could have, I really like anchoring, but I felt bad leaving work early again. So I told them I wouldn't be able to make it. But man, they love me there.

Yawns, as I'm sure you already know, are contagious. I caught a yawn the other day from a duck. I swear.

Whenever I am caught listening to somebody drone on about something that doesn't interest me in the least, but they just keep talking and talking and talking, I get a physical sensation at the back of my head. It's a tingling feeling, as real as if I had stubbed a toe or put my hand in ice water. A tingling around the crown of my head that persists till I escape the mindless monologue.

I decided today that I am going to have to be independently wealthy if I am going to accomplish half the things I want to in life. I have expensive goals.

More random thoughts to come. Stay tuned.

among other things

So I haven't blogged on here in a bit. A few updates are in order.
I got a new job. A friend of mine set me up with a company called Independent Student Media. I can't post links when I blog from my phone, so just google it. We have a film-making curriculum we offer to high schools and middle schools across the country. It's all web based, with screenwriting software, storyboarder, tutorials, interviews with industry professionals, message board, screening room, scheduler, and gradebook for the teachers. It's really really cool, everything you need to organize a movie, besides editing software and camera.
They gave me an office. I don't rightly know what possesed them to do that. I'm going to primarily be compiling information for them and conducting website walkthroughs of our site. I'll be at my computer, and superintendent, schoolboard members, and/or teachers at theirs, wherever they are in the country, and I'll have control over what's on their screen. We'll be on conference call, so they can just ask questions, and I'll tailor the tour for their needs. Neat, huh?
It's a small company. They've been developing the curriculum and software for seven years, but just recently got real investors. So these guys are expecting me to stick around for a while, because as the company grows, I'll remain near the top of the heirarchy.
We also make movies. This summer we're shooting a flick with John Heder, and possibly Bruce Willis or Christopher Walken. Believe it. It's an action comedy.
It pays well, my new job. And I think I can expect rapid promotions. I'm gonns' be a rich movie maker in just a few years, you wait and see.

Item 2: If I haven't mentioned it yet, I've moved. I have a big personal room, small walk in closet, and a huge backyard. It's a house my room-mate Dave Peterson's parents bought, and we're pretty well at liberty to make any home improvements we'd like. It's nice. We'll see about the ward.

Update 3: I'm anchoring the Friday edition of the BYU Daily News. I've done it twice now, and I like it. I got the spot when one day I walked into the Newsroom to do my reporting, and they were auditioning for anchors. Everybody was pacing around, rehersing their lines, and one of the girls in there asked if I was going to try out. "I wasn't planning on it."
"But you'll be here over spring and summer?"
"Ya."
"Then you should try out." So I did.
I wasn't wearing a tie, had my spiderman shirt and Buddy Holly glasses on, but they said, ok, go sit down and line up with the camera, and read your lines. I didn't have any time to read over the script, so I just went into it cold. And did great. Man I'm good.

Item 4: I'm on my way to a concert in SLC. The Hot Hot Heat is playing, and they're lots'o'fun. Those guys know how to rock.

There is probably more to tell, always is. But I'll post that next time, maybe when I get around to fixing my computer. I've been too busy lately fixing Dad's. I installed more RAM from my old laptop, streamlined windows, and did a whole bunch of tweaks to make it run lightning fast. What was before an unusable computer is now a portable speed demon. Also, I set up Dad's cellphone as a modem for him to access the internet from anywhere he has cellphone service. Now I need to build a desktop for Mom. And fix Mine. They've unofficially put me as the last defense at work before they call the actual tech suport guys.
Anyway, I'm rambling, and we're at the Venue for the concert, so I'll talk to you later.
Best regards,
Austin

few and far between

If it seems like my posts have been sparce as of late, it is because my computer got tetnis. Not actual tetnis, mind you, but that's what I'm calling the problem, seeing as it was brought on by a seemingly minor issue that ultimately resulted in the death of the victim. I'm going to try to revive the device tomorrow, but this may take some time and research. More to follow soon, wish me luck.

P.S. If you see a post on here that is all text, with no bells or whistles, that means I posted it from my phone. Ya, I can do that.

Redirection.

I would like to show you all a little post my roommmate made recently. Not the most flattering pictures of me ever, but eh, I like the attention.

Some of my favorite commercials:

Most of these are rather old. Oh well, they're still good.

Found this one a couple weeks ago. Why can't all commercials be so good?

Or if you'd rather see the quicktime mov.

This one is now a classic, not new, but still amazing.

And the quicktime link.

Simultaneously poignant and hysterical, a difficult combination.

quicktime.

I love everything in this video. All elements.
The Original.


The Extended

The software used.
The Offical Site with sequel ad and downloads.
The VFX Company that did it.

I ♥ good music videos.

My newest favorite song and video.
¿And you know what?
It is pretty hip.
Guster - "Satellite"



And if you're interested, the making of video:



Actually, all of this directors videos are pretty good. I might have to learn more about this character.

Inadequate

I was looking at my friend Meredith's blog, and I realized something. I'm not very good at this blogging thing. I looked at a bunch of her friends' blogs, and they are just better looking, with more and more interesting content, and better looking. I'm going to have to work on that. I am compelled to improve.
On a related note, I have a confession to make. My sister-in-law called me "very in-the-know", but I am sad to report that is just not true. I've thought at times it was, but I am constantly reminded about how much I don't know, and how hip I'm not. Not that I'm sure I want to expend the effort to be so hip, but sometimes the thought crosses my mind, and a passing sigh my exits my mouth.

P.S. That wasn't a plea for encouragement and "Hey, buck up lil' camper, your just as hip as Danny Zuko, you're the BEE's KNEES!" So don't. But thanks, though. Honest.

Commencement III

Part tré.
Alternative commencement was interesting. I don't know what I expected, maybe I was a bit bright eyed, idealistic. Eric Bybee spoke first, one of the so called "BYU 25" as I'm sure they would like to be known. Nader suggested that title, but more on him later. Then Ash Sanders spoke, the ringleader of the local counterculter. She was obviously passionate about her topic, and had a well crafted speech, but I can't say I am with her on everything she said. Pete Ashdown spoke next. I felt like his speech was a little loaded, quoting scripture and patriotic lines. Say what you think, then tie it to the Sermon on the Mount. A technique I think is a little...I don't know...cheap? Thats an ugly thing to say, it wasn't a bad speech, but it wasn't my favorite either. The Executive Director Emeritus of Amnesty International, Jack Healy spoke. Maybe I'm just cold blooded, but I didn't feel inspired by his remarks either. I don't want to go out and change the world out of guilt, I want to be moved to action by some nobler emotion. His words on the sad state of human rights throughout the world only left me sad and upset.
Then the big attraction, Ralph Nader.
Well, LET ME TELL YOU.
The man was...welll... boring. Again, uninspiring. He made a slow start, but when he got into his swing, he was just all over the place. He shotgunned a plethora of issues: socialized medicine, the electoral college, gluttonous CEOs, campaign finance, corporate sway in the legislature. He mentioned some legitimate problems, I have to confess.
But his "solutions" were far from. He neglected that, while the existing structure has its pitfalls, so will the replacement he offers. I felt like every remedy he proposed was just as fraught with logistical and ethical problems, and just as prone to abuse if not more. For the most part, he was proposing a much more socialized system, mandating utopia, a blessed land where Big Brother will take care of you. I'll pass.
So in the end, while I agreed with the fundamental idea behind the alternative commencement, I felt like the realization of it was a disappointment. What can I say...I'm a pretty traditional conservative.

Commencement Part II

Well, whoever wrote Dick Cheney's speech deserves their pay. He did an excelent job. My roommate's dad pointed out that he hit all the right points for the audience. He mentioned specific places on campus, by their nickname. He talked about his wife's Mormon Pioneer heritage. He praised the University for their sports triumphs, the "stone cold sober" status, and called BYU one of the best universities in the country.
Not a speck of controvery to speak of. Good.
Now on to part deux, the BYU Alternative Commencement, featuring Ralph Nader.
There certainly aren't as many people here as there were at the Official commencement. As it stands right now, there are hundreds of people here in the McKay Events Center at UVSC, as opposed to the probably 10,000 people at the Marriott Center earlier today. The dress is not as formal, the hair is generally longer, and there appear to be more glasses in the audience.
I'm biding my time till the event starts. From what I was told, it should have started 15 minutes ago. But it looks like it will begin soon. More later.

Commencement

I'm not graduating, but I have several friends who are. So here I am in the Marriott Center, awaiting the proceedings. The headline this year, as you've probably already heard, is one Richard Bruce Cheney, or Dick as most folks call him. Our country's Vice President. I honestly don't feel like I know enough about the man, so it will be good to hear him speak, whatever the remarks are.
Another note you've probably already heard is the backlash. The small but vocal BYU counterculture has not taken V.P. Cheney's presence here lightly. They object to what they would say is a warmongering and unreasonable man being welcomed to the Lord's university. For those in the LDS community who do not support the current presidency, it must seem an upsetting sight, the man you feel responsible for the death of thousands of Americans, not to mention the tens of thousands of Iraqis, shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries with a man they sustain as a prophet, seer, and revelator. But so it goes, those with power discusing their often overlapping stewardships.
In addition to getting plain ol' MAD, however, the counterculture has done something significant. I don' know who's idea it was first, but somehow the idea was circulated to get Ralph Nader to come speak as an alternative to the conventional commencement. They needed to raise thousands of dollars to get him here, though, and it seemed a long shot.
Never underestimate grassroots could be the lesson from this, though, because just a couple days ago, a local documentarian covering the movement posted some remarks on a very popular blog. He included a link to the site for donations, hoping a few would notice and contribute.
Within hours, thousands of dollars were pouring in. They far exceede their needed funds.
Anyway, I'l post more later. My ol' Homeboy, President Cecil Samuelson is speaking, followed by Vice President Dick Cheney.
P.S. Church President Gordon B Hinkley is also here, as well as Richard G. Scott and David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the 12.

Done Bowling.

Well, after me raving about our bowling league for so long, I have an
update. First, we won, #1 in the league. I'm not celebrating though,
because it feels like a false victory. I'm not that good, and I honestly
don't know how we won. It just wasn't that competitive, appearantly. And
update the second: I have a bowling injury. Ya, believe it. I noticed
toward the end of our tournament that my hand was hurting, but thought
it was just sore. But I went bowling again a couple nights ago, and it
hurt. Bad. Like I'd hit it with a hammer. That's what I get from bad
bowling form, a stress injury on the base segment of the ring finger.

The Local Rap Scene

I'm not a connoisseur of rap. I don't really listen to the stuff. But I am told it’s a rare thing when rap is really great. On the other side, it’s my personal opinion that it’s often nothing to scream about, and frequently just plain bad. And I don't just mean moral content, though NWA isn't really known for their uplifting melodies. No, I mean quality, people, QUALITY! Severely lacking in especially the local scene.

A Disclaimer: This might get a little personal.

Case in point. How does this happen?
Watch the second video down, a personal favorite.
I can't tell, is he kidding? Seriously, is he? Explore the site, I don't think it’s a joke, and if it is, it’s expansive.

Also, another local I've encountered. In his defense, I believe he is actually handicapped, no joke. 'Nuf said.

This next one, though, is a treat. Better quality, and done mostly (about %87) as a joke. D-licious is a friend of mine, one I've mentioned before on here. He's the second guy rapping.

But maybe there is a market for this kind of stuff. VH1 had a whole show dedicated to it. Then again, VH1 isn't winning many Emmys.

And now I'm rambling. Sorry. I'm done.

Apple Beer Spots

Rogeber and I just did a few ads for a local beverage company. WANNA HEAR?

The Same Song

An Observation:

I know its old news, but I heard a report that the Red Hot Chili Peppers' newest single,"Danny California", is actually plagiarism (or what Francois Truffaut would call "homage").

Also, every Nickelback song is the same song.

It was pointed out to me today by my roommate Dave Smith that two songs that I like very much are actually the same song. I checked. He was right.

Download the file after you click on the link. Its a recording of me giving an intro to a CSS/Spoon Mashup. You will hear how EXACTLY the same they are. I had to speed up the Spoon song some, but still. The bass line, man, the bass line is the same same same thing in both.