Bowling

Oh, by the way, we're not good at bowling. I'm not anyway. Turns out when we actually have competitors, we lose. Ya, who knew. Oh, and contrary to what I thought, I am not improving. I actually bowled what my have been the worst three games of my life last week. HA!

Just took a nap, just had a dream.

I dreamt that I was at some sort of medical clinic, and I mentioned that I was hungry, and they said they were about to open up the cafeteria. I went to some counter to pay for a dinner there, and started talking to the girl behind said counter. I gave her my ID for some reason, and she said I was two years late, that she had lived at the Enclave two years ago and I live there now (I don't live there in reality, just weird dreams).

But then I woke up.

So lets recap, in my dream I was talking to a girl and about to have dinner, then I woke up hungry by myself in my cold living room.

I'm going back to sleep.

Hard Lessons

You're going to think less of me after reading this post. You should.

I'll be honest. This semester has pretty much...well...I'll understate it and just say it hasn't been much fun. I usually get feeling behind about halfway through the semester. This time I started feeling that way the second week. And school is really only part of it, though I am fairly confident I'm just going to do very badly in some of my classes, no getting around it at this point.

And I never have time to go to work.

But the rest of the lousyness is people. I like most of my roommates, most of the time. Some of them I'll be friends with for life. But not all of them. One of them is just a fat slob, no other words for it. And another roommate is certifiably the most creepy person I've ever met. Honestly. And I feel like usually the better you get to know somebody, the more human they become. Not the case here. The more I get to know him, the less I like him, the less I understand him. He doesn't like light (like physical light in a room). He sneaks up on you. He is constantly rude, but only subtly so. He has a morbid sense of humor, all of his jokes involve death or mutilation, and they are poorly delivered. He is 27 and about as ambitionless and pathetic a person as I can imagine. One of our other roommates described him most succinctly when he called him "Smeagol-y". Truer words were never spoken. And theres this pretty girl who comes over here, and likes him. Ya, like in a romantic sense. I know, theres no accounting for taste. And he doesn't just up and marry her (somebody should really clue him in that he is never...NEVER going to do better). I can...not...wait to NOT live under the same roof as him. People don't like to come over here because of him. He is always insulting. The only time I've ever Not Disliked him (note the double negative) is when he isn't talking, and thats not often. No matter what the subject is, he's an expert. And if he overhears you in the next room (ya, you better believe he's listening to you through the walls) he'll sneak in and mumble "Did I hear....something about...Nietzsche...in here?"

LISTEN, CHRIS, YOU ARE THE CREEPIEST, MOST SELFISH, REPULSIVE FREAK I'VE EVER MET! EITHER COME INTO THE ROOM AND JOIN THE CONVERSATION, OR GO BACK TO YOUR DANK INFESTED HOVEL!

And my other roommate. I don't get him either. He will freak out every couple weeks about clutter in the front room, really bad. Like he just gets stressed/mad/sad all of the sudden, while the rest of the time he is just as much a contributor to the mild clutter. However, he is a Prime contributor to the Extreme mess that perpetually grows in the kitchen. And I can honestly, with no qualms, whatsoever, say that none of that is mine. First of all, it makes me a little sick to the stomach to eat anything that came out of that kitchen. And Second, if I ever use anything out of that kitchen, I clean it before AND after I use it. Thats because some people don't seem to believe in basic sanitation habits, i.e. soap, light, cleaning up after spilling sauce, cheese, crumbs, noodles, etc., rinsing dishes after use, instead of piling them up in the kitchen for literally weeks, collecting actual mold. I, at this moment, can't think of anybody in the house who really cleans up after themselves in the kitchen, in a timely manner, a majority of the time (besides me).

But I digress. This roommate, he gets mad, or more exactly, he gets whiney. He whines all the time, but it just gets incessant when he get upset.

But I don't say anything about it. It doesn't affect me, just let it slide.

Oh, and he won't buy a computer, but will sink money into his car or a guitar or whatever else. He'll just use his roommates computers. Well, thats fine, I've got one, I don't use it all the time, he can use my computer.
-Note: I've since realized that he will ask me to use my computer while I am clearly on it doing something. Sarcastic thought>"No dude, thats cool, I'm sure whatever you needed to do on my computer is more important than what I had."

I let him use my guitar for half the semester for a guitar class he signed up for (having a guitar is required for the class). Thats fine, I don't play mine really, and thats a great class, everybody should take Larry Greens guitar class. So I let him borrow it.

But this roommate, he recently got sick, and I very quickly noticed that he wouldn't...EVER...cover his mouth when he coughed. Don't they teach that to kids from like kindergarten to sophomore year of college? And then they stop bringing it up 'cause they expect you to have it ingrained in you whole being? That if both your arms were amputated clean off, you would raise the nubs up just a little when you went to cough, out of sheer habit? EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT, IT PREVENTS THE SPREADING OF DISEASE, WELCOME TO THE ENLIGHTENED FIRST WORLD!

But this kid didn't. Doesn't for that matter, because I brought it up to him, and he just shrugged it off. I brought it up again, and he said he had some chronic pneumonia, that there was fluid in his lungs and there was no way for him to spread this to anybody else. I guess I should trust him, hes going to med-school in three months.

But hey, guess what? Pneumonia is an infection, and I've had a cough for the past week that sounds A WHOLE LOT LIKE HIS! One day when it was really bad and I couldn't stop hacking (burying my mouth in the crook of my elbow every time) I said "This is your fault you know. I caught this from you." He denied all allegations and wouldn't even lend any legitimacy to my claims. The whole thing was comical to him.

So I asked him to please cover his mouth when he coughed. And I asked him to make sure to please clean his dishes when hes done with his meals. I find these things to be common sense. Or at least they should be.

Today he was at my computer eating a brownie. I'll let it slide, even though he'll probably get brownie in the keyboard. Its not a big deal.

However, when he licked his fingers, and then proceeded with his business on my computer THAT was a big deal.

I usually have hand sanitizer at my computer. Not that anybody else uses it, but it makes me feel better regardless. But it wasn't there. Somebody had used it, turns out, and it was on the other side of the room. I quickly grabbed and and put it down next to the keyboard.

"Could you please use some hand sanitizer if you're going to lick you fingers while using my computer?"

Then he did that thing he does. He got all pouty, like a 7 year old girl who doesn't get her way. He got up and whimpered off to his room, like I had been some playground bully. Maybe I should feel bad. Maybe I should go apologize.

BUT I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG. I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT PATIENT. AND FORGIVING. AND THAT HE WOULD GET OFFENDED, NAY, HURT, THAT I WOULD ASK HIM TO NOT SLOP HIS BROWNIE-SALIVA FINGERS ON MY COMPUTER, THAT HE WOULD ACT HARMED AT THAT INFURIATES ME.

THAT MAKES ME THAT BAD GUY. THAT MEANS I'M THE JERK. I'VE DONE EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO BE NICE, AND WHEN NONE OF THAT WORKS, I KINDA LOSE MY WILL TO TRY. IT WOULD BE A HECK OF A LOT EASIER TO GO WITH THE MEAN-SON-OF-A-GUN BIT AND JUST BE THAT JERK.

I DON'T FEEL BAD FOR HIM. I WANT TO KICK HIM IN THE GUT TILL HE STOPS CRYING. CRYING. I WANT TO SCREAM IN HIS FACE AND TELL HIM TO BE A FREAKIN' ADULT MAN. I ASKED HIM TO DO A COUPLE SIMPLE THINGS, I ASKED HIM TO SHOW SOME COURTESY, AND HE IS HURT, AND I'M AN ASS.

The hard lesson here is that he is hurt, and I am an ass. I need to go apologize, not because I'm wrong, but because thats what would help the situation the most. Thats what would make things right. Not everything, mind you. I'm sure he'll continue to spread disease like a terrorist with a micro-bio degree. I'm sure he'll continue to foster his mold farm in our kitchen sink. But at least we'll be able to sit in the same dirty room together.

P.S. It doesn't make it any easier to apologize when the person your apologizing to starts lecturing you on what you've been doing wrong before you're done apologizing.

Literally

I'm not one of those people who are really nit-picky about language, I'm not, really. If you've read any of this blog, you must realize I'm not a stickler for grammar, punctuation, or even spelling. But there is one thing that really bugs me when people us it wrong. When people say "literally" to add emphasis, that just doesn't make sense. Example.

"I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally."

or maybe...

"Food for thought…literally "

Really, doing that with a smiley face just makes you sound like an idiot. Both of these are examples pulled from things I have read recently online. It just doesn't do what they want it to (unless they are hoping to sound stupid). English is versatile, malleable even, but not this. Don't mutilate the language like that, please.
HONESTLY, IF THEY WOULD JUST THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY WERE SAYING FOR JUST ONE SECOND, THEY MIGHT REALIZE IT IS NONSENSE!

With that out of the way, you may all now feel free to mock me for my own minor imperfections just as I've condemned a group of people for theirs.

DEFEAT!

We lost our game on Thursday. Dave S. got there late, he had to take a test that took longer than expected. Ben was half an hour late, he had to tend to some emotional issues a close friend was having. We were playing the number one team, Kumbaya. It was a dark day for Steve's Intermountain (thats our team name, we got matching shirts at DI). But still fun.

VICTORY 2!

We Won Again!


Because our opponents didn't show up.


Sweet.

VICTORY!

I just thought I would let you all know that our bowling league just WON our first bout. I am excited.

But we´ll just ignore the fact that our competitors were, 1: a mentally and physically handicapped man named Joe W., and 2: a middle aged gentleman named Richard. Who had a hairlip.

And there were four of us on our team. And we´re all in our prime.

AWESOME! We are SO GOOD!

Stop Madness

Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2006 was...You. Ya, I know it's a bit of a cop-out to use a pronoun, but it's grown on me. Particularly because of people like these guys. And this fine gentleman. I think it's pretty amazing when guys just do amazing things like that and put it up.

New new years goal: Be one of those guys.

I am Amazed at Some People's Idiocracy.

I recently came across this amazing example of failed self promotion. It is just...wow. I actually saw the parody before I saw the original. Thats George Michael from Arrested Development, in case you didn't notice. Apparently he is quite the comedic genius in his own right.

Sadly (or for the inadvertent comedy lover in me, Happily) this is not the first example of this I've seen. It's not even the second example.

I'm afraid this kind of thing is becoming its own full-fledged sub-genre of viral video. Be careful who points a camera at you.

BTW, I borrowed part of the title of this from a little Mike Judge flick.

Dreams: The Octopus, Hitler, and Larry the Cable Guy

I didn't write down my dream of two nights ago, so I've already pretty much forgotten it. But I do remember it involved me catching a giant octopus, and I think it turned into Hitler. Then Hitler and his assistant left, and they reminded me of Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers.

Then last night I dreamt that I was somehow the straight guy in a comedy act with somebody remarkably similar to Larry the Cable Guy. He was mad at me 'cause I kept messing up the timing and forgetting what I was supposed to say.

Home...Home?

I've been staying at my parents house over the Christmas break. I've been here for almost two weeks. I'm essentially living at home again for the first time in five and a half years. I'm starting to remember why I was so happy to move out in the first place.

20 Ways the World Could End

My favorite is number 16.

Dreams: The Dream of a Six Year Old.

I dreamt last night that I was at some kind of celebration outside, and a jet flew overhead and dropped candy. Tons of it. I think there may have been toys thrown out to the crowd as well. We were on a big field at first, but then we went inside, and George Clinton was there performing and handing out, you guessed it, candy and toys. Only the candy was big, I mean enormous. Not King size, but person size.

Dreams: Late for "History of Electronic Media"

I dreamt that Landon, Dave Peterson, Snoopy of Peanuts fame, and I were all late for our "History of Electronic Media and Culture" class, it was something like that. Anyway, we left a house we were at, and went through the garage. We were going to do the thing where you press the garage door button and jump over the sensor, but it was too fast, so we were going to prop the door open with a plastic oar. But the door was just too strong and crumpled the oar. Somehow we left though and on our way we were talking and we were being soooo funny. I wish I could remember some of the jokes we were telling, because in the dream they were hysterical. I'm sure in waking hours they would be nothing more than nonsense, but man were we laughing then.

Also, I had done something extremely physically taxing the day before, and when we were walking to class, I was having a hard time just standing and walking under the weight of my backpack.

2007. The New and Improved.

2007 is going to be better than 2006 was. Why, you might ask? Because I've decided it will be. There are plenty of ways it can be better. I could develop a consistent sleeping pattern. I can focus on my studies more. I can follow through with creative ambitions. I can live up to what I believe. I can go to the temple more often. I can be nicer to people. I can be a LOT nicer to people. I can be more productive. I can dress better. I can spend less. I can read more. I can listen to better music. I can listen to legal music. I can communicate better. I can serve more. I can serve a WHOLE LOT more. I can be more thoughtful. I can be cleaner. I can be more organized. I can be more profitable. I can be punctual.

If you have anything else I can work on, I'm open to suggestions.

Rockets

Rockets are awesome. Everybody should have a rocket. That is all.

Review: The Prestige

Just saw "The Prestige". In short, I liked it.

Or do you want the long story? Okay then.

It is a compelling plot. It centers around two men obsessed with the craft of illusions. But after one fatal mistake, they become bitter enemies. They continue to refine their tricks, their illusions, and continually try to one up each other, not only on stage, but personally, revenge type stuff. But you could hear all of this from a normal reviewer. My main observations are...

INSPIRED CASTING of David Bowie as Nikola Tesla. Also in the mix? Andy Serkis of Lord of the Rings (Gollum) fame. Whoever thought of that deserves a raise.

One more thing. The movie presents itself as a believable story, something completely within the realm of possibility, but at the end there is an element revealed that borders on science fiction/fantasy. Its something you just kinda have to swallow if you're going to enjoy the film. But its presented so well that its not really a big problem, at least for me. Then again, I'm somebody who enjoys science fiction/fantasy. If you're not, this might be something you choke on a bit. Sorry about that.

Dreams: Home from her mission? So early?

I dreamt the other night that i ran into a friend of mine who went on a mission a couple months ago. I asked her why she was here and not on a mission, and she responded that she had never really gone on a mission, but had stayed home because a friend of hers had broken up with her boyfriend and she (my friend) was going to try to hook up with him. I thought that was tremendously funny.

A Hole in the Pirates

If Bootstrap Bill Turner was part of the crew that stole the cursed Aztec treasure, then wouldn't he be one of the cursed undead too? How could they "strap a cannon to Bootstrap's bootstraps" and send him down to Davey Jones Locker, and have him die? I mean, I've seen the second one, I know he doesn't die, but it just doesn't make sense.

dreams: The Wii and some chick

I beat ¨The Legend of Zelda 2: The Adventures of Link¨ on the original NES the other day. That night I dreamt I had bought the Nintendo Wii and the new zelda game. Wow, I´m a pathetic nerd, even in my dreams.

Also dreamt I was hanging out with a friends older sister, and it was wierd. I think I liked her in the dream, which is strange to contrast with reality where I don´t really. People are different in my dreams than they are in waking life, and I would say that I am frequently different too, but then somebody would suggest that my dream-self might be a manifestation of a ¨real¨ me that doesn´t often show its face.